Sometimes;

It’s funny how you always feel alone in these. People who have it can’t help since they can barely help themselves, people who never had it, won’t believe you, it leaves those who had it and got rid of it.
— Grey Wolf

 

Sometimes it's me sitting on the Gobus on the way to Hamilton with tears streaming down my face.

Sometimes it's a physical pain. Not like a stomach ache or a headaches.. but like a brain hurt. Like everything hurts all at once.

Sometimes it's no words, just feelings. Just pain.

Sometimes it's feeling everything but nothing at the same time.

Sometimes it's smiling at people and knowing you're here but not really.

Sometimes it's feeling as if you're inside a house with glass walls and windows, screaming out for help but nobody hears you.

Sometimes it's seeing dark clouds and impending rain, and feeling that Mother Nature understands better than a friend might.

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Sometimes it's not being able to explain how you feel. Or why you feel the way you do.

Sometimes it's not being upset or sad or mad at someone or something or the world, it's not just one thing, it's all of it.

Sometimes it's missed appointments, interviews, hang outs because you physically cannot get your body to move.

Sometimes it's your body betraying you.

Sometimes it's the reminder that you are broken and haven't quite healed yet.

Sometimes it's all of this, times infinity.